Kynoyu Dragon & RoboGeisha & Zipangu Fest

Kynoyu Dragon directed by Takao Nakano


The Gist: Strippers kick flesh eating zombie ass in hot pants with swords and chainsaws.


What happens when you cross zombies, a Samurai sword, exotic dancers and a Japanese film Director? You get Kynoyu Dragon... Or in English Big Tits Zombie (I'm not sure about the translation either).  This was produced on a shoe string. Literally. My Converse sneaker laces are worth more than the budget this movie had, but they still managed to have 3D elements in there. Yes, there are boobs with blood spatted over them, yes there is a semi naked wrestling scene, yes there is a stripper who turns into a zombie and shoots fire out her front bottom (I couldn't think of any other word), but at 73 minutes, it made me smile.

RoboGeisha directed by Noboru Iguchi


The Gist: Power Ranger, Transformer stylized Geisha's are upgraded into killer assassin robots, so a crazy boy can blow up the world, by throwing a device seventeen times more powerful than a nuclear bomb into Mount Fuji.


Pretty Japanese girls going all robotic, whilst doing martial arts, and stopping mid flow to deliver dodgy inner monologues. There were machine gun boobs, knifes in armpits, laser eyeballs, plasma blasting hair, legs that turned into tanks... That said we loved it... So did the people behind us... Though that may have been the beers... Running at 102 minutes it was a lot of cheeky fun, and what's to be expected of a Japanese B-Movie. Daijoubou? 


This Halloween Double Feature I attended this evening with my movie buddy MissEmmaJames, at the Barbican was a taster of the delights to be had at Zipangu Fest. The quirky/cool Japanese Film Festival that will be haunting the streets of London in such places as Brick lane, Barbican and Whitechapel from 23rd November. 

Copy Editing... My lack of it... Damn

What is worse than a glowing critique that is marred by the mention of bad copy-editing? Nothing. I hang my head in shame.

So, on my first novel attempt, based on feedback from the general public; the cover is good, the characters are good, the plot is good, the copyediting is bad. My conclusion? I suck at copyediting my own work. My solution? Hire a professional copyeditor. Gusty Sigh. I wish I was purist enough to not want one, but it will make my life so much easier. A thanks to those who can see the shiny diamond under the sh*t that is my nonexistent editing skills. Google and I are fixing as I type.

Positive of this experience; I can write (the whole point of this free eBook trial) and my print publication will be stellar. Negative of this experience; embarrassment, and the poor souls who were kind enough to leave me feedback had to suffer.

Chapters

What is the correct way to structure your book chapters? I’m easy, so I can read short choppy chapters or long ones just fine. I recently read a book that was written in three parts. I was so into it, I didn't even realize until the end there was only three chapters. And what about naming chapters. As a reader I hate this, I feel its an intrusion from the writer. Yet when I write I always try to sneak them in, and only because the reader part of me is stronger than the writer part, am I able to remove them. Browsing the various forums I'm trying to actively participate in, people can get into quite heated discussions about particulars like this. 

As I writer, I too overly think something that should be simple and instinctive. As a reader I’m easy every which way ;)

Comas

Die, comma, die. I can’t seem to get you right. Die, die, die. Hiccup. Die.

Review: Sex Scene an Anthology

The Gist: Sex. A lot of it.

None of the themes broadened my horizon, and I found that disappointing. That said I found the shorts fell into two groups; delicious/sexy or engaging/disturbing (once you’ve read it try to guess which ones).

Eaten Alive… Well, hell. I just knew the R thing was going to rear up somewhere in this sexual soirée. I swallowed the scream I usually subject the world to when it comes to reading about the R thing (because I was on the Underground and we British are an unforgiving lot), and enjoyed it, immensely. The pace and structure appealed to me. Islamic Orgasm nudged at the boundaries of my comfort zone, and I admire the writer for taking it that deep. The hypocrisy was unsettling. Recursion made a moderately kinky practice seem taboo, and it was lip bitingly fun to read.

That annoying niggle that had me gritting my teeth? How many times can you read the word ‘f**k’ to express, well, f**king, in its most base form before it gets old? I have discovered my threshold to be four.  

If you have the time, I urge you to read it. The collection was stimulating (I typed that with a straight face), and it did have an impact on me, maybe it will affect you too.

Oh, and the cover is lush.

You can download it HERE

The Word Count & BFI Film Festival & Hitchcock's Psycho

A longer than usual post for me, since I have loads to rave about. Sunday went and saw the original Psycho (1960) at the Empire in Leicester Square. I'd never seen it before, and found it brilliant (I admit I laughed at the penultimate scene, but come on, it was filmed 50 years ago). The musical score truly is iconic, and it was cool to see it on the big screen, even if it was 9am.


The good bit about yesterday, had a great time at the BFI London Film Festival with MissEmmaJames, and saw a crazy complicated film about a four-way relationship between two French couples. Yes, it was subtitled. Yes, I had the only seven foot Londoner seated in front of me blocking the subtitles. No, I don't speak French. Its called a 'Happy Few' directed by Antony Cordier. Very sexy and awkward. Best scene: all four romp on the floor covered in flour (http://www.bfi.org.uk/lff/node/806).

The bad bit about yesterday, eh, crashed a sleep and missed all the tweeting about The Word Count Podcast by R.B. Wood (http://bit.ly/9DSF4U). So, I listened to it at 5am this morning when I woke up, and wow! I was freakishly excited to hear the work of the other writers and poets, the line up looked diverse to say the least. And I was not disappointed. Yes, you have to suffer my dulcet tones for a few minutes, reading an extract from my new eBook The Demon Girl, but still, check it out; http://bit.ly/cNAYsr  

NaNoWriMo

Yes, I am mad, and I am going to do this.

A brand new character has appeared, and she's hammering on the inside of my skull. This is going to be a lot of fun. 50,000 words in 30 days. That is 1600 words a day. Pah. I can do that (mummble, blubber, mummble).

I see.... souls... triplets... and... oh wow, I see... nothing? Aha!

Book Crush

I’m reading ‘Dead in The Family’ by Charlene Harris, and find myself experiencing ‘book boy lust’ with one of the characters. For those who’ve read it, can you guess who? ;)

I find it vaguely embarrassing, and entirely disturbing, a figurative person can cause such a reaction. But would I banish this affliction? No. Never. Who are yours? 

eBook: The Demon Girl

Whoop, whoop. My first eBook is available to download from the Apple iBookstore. *Gusty Sigh* I like seeing it there. It has popped up in the wrong section (kids) gah! So I’m changing that as I type. The cover is attractive, no? If you’re not rocking iBooks yet (um, why?) you can also download it through Stanza or Kobo apps. It’ll also be available for the Kindle and Sony devices within the next month or so. What I’m hunting is feedback. If you have a few spare hours I’d love you to read and rate it.

Pilcrow

This darling has become my best friend. Why, oh why, was I not informed of this magical word processing tool beforehand? (If you're wondering what the hell I'm going on about, a pilcrow is this ¶). Fellow writers, start using it and you will see what I mean.

eBook Review: Black Silk by Jan Gordon

The Gist: Plain-Jane-paranormal-book-lover-protagonist falls for gorgeous-were-panther-guy, who saves her from a crazy-ass-junkie-stalker who wants to kill her, since she witnessed him robbing a gas station.

Favorite Line: “Oh my God, I had sex with a cat!”

Nice read. At one point I thought, where is this going? Then the plot kicked in and I was absorbed. This tale had some non clichéd tid bits about were-panthers I’ve never read before. It was a slow meander through the legend of the Were, with a dollop of sex and a cup of predictability. Saying that, Gordon’s writing drew vivid images in my mind. At no point was I fumbling in the dark, or using my own imagination to ‘fill in blanks’.

Comas

Somewhere between formatting and conversion into the different eReader formats, all my commas have done a runner. *puzzled face*

Self Publishing

Pros: You have total control. Over everything.

Cons: You have total control. Over everything.

eBook Review: Her Robot Girlfriend by Wesley Allison

The Gist: Widower buys his dream robot then marries her.


Favorite Line: I am Daffodil serial number 555277-PFN-001-XGN-F0103.


Do you like clothes? Good. Do you like food? Good. Do you like having sex with robots? If you answered yes than this is the book for you. I read this today and found myself smiling. I think my dad would find this a hoot. I liked how this book seemed to focus on the mundane bits of life. I will read His Robot Wife, simply because the protags life made my life seem sparkly. And I liked the cover too.

eBook Review: The Keeping by Nicky Charles

The Gist: Quirky girl goes to small town to investigate a reclusive photographer, who is a werewolf. They lock lips and pelvises. He bites her by accident and she becomes a werewolf and they get together after a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

Favorite Line: "Who did this person think he was, to not only strike an Alpha, but touch his female as well?"

This book entertained in fits and starts. A slow beginning and it seemed to take ages for Ryne (the book hunk) and Melody (the leading lady) to meet. Worse, Melody seemed...a little slow. But then, boom, the passion and intricate relationship between the leading couple was hot like fire, and the bar sex scene had me jumping my boyfriend bones. My thumb protested loudly the next day, for I sat for five hours straight flicking through the pages on my iPhone, unable to stop reading. Nicky can work a plotline and her characterizations are fresh and original. I will be backtracking and reading her previous work, The Mating.

Book Blogs

My face is slack with shock. I would take a picture and show you if I wasn't so vain (don't look so hot today due to 4 hours sleep in 48 hours). There are some blogs that do not accept self-published books for review. Oh no. As if it wasn't hard enough. I fear for us writers, I really do. We're like that ugly duckling that gets kicked and shunned. But, what happened to that ugly duckling...

eBook Review: The Blood That Bonds by Christopher Buecheler

The Gist: Junkie prostitute is turned into a vampire by an ex priest then spends a week knee deep in blood and sex, before her sire is killed by his Father.

Favorite Line: “…I haunted London like a bloodthirsty ghoul for hundreds of years.”

I stared to read this then ended up in tears at 3am, and unable to sleep even though I had to get up and go to work the next morning. Interestingly, the cover did not appeal to me, and I downloaded it on a whim on my way home from work. It’s choppy in some places, but a good read. I like how raw Buecheler is in describing the complicated relationship between sex and blood. The ending was not so hot (in my opinion), but that’s because I’m a helpless romantic, and like my endings full of love and hope…blah, blah soppy stuff. That said, the writing was engaging enough for me to look forward to reading the sequel.

eBooks

Looking around there seem to be very few people (in the UK) who read and review self-published eBooks. Pout. I may be biased since I’ve started parading my own work around, but I think this is a shame. I've read several SP eBooks, which were delightful. I’m going post a few reviews about those I have read in the last few days. Simple quick things.

Pacing

Gah. I tend to pace too fast, too often. This morning (the best writing time for me) I read a chapter I wrote and was panting at the end. Writers who pace too slow bore the living pants off me. Though, there are some notable exceptions. Maybe thats why I skip through things so quickly in mine?

Inner Monologue

Everyone has a running commentary they’re trapped with. I get so sick of my own thoughts sometimes the only way I can drown myself out is to read. Then when I write, I become a character. To remain myself and write in abstract would limit every character I dream up. What a shame that would be. Yes, that does make me slightly crazy.

Editing

Editing is boring, but a fundamental right of passage for any aspiring writer. Damn it. 

Style

I hate a book that sounds exactly like something else I’ve read. It drives me mad. It’s not to do with similar storylines, because I’ve read two books with a plot and storyline so similar, I thought I was imagining things until I compared them side-by-side. The plotting of these two books were the same, but the style the authors wrote in were polar opposites. I ask myself if my writing is unique every time I finish a scene. It seems I do this to torture myself needlessly as other writers are worrying about things, like character length and formatting. When does style become annoying, and at what point should you reel yourself in? Is that what makes good writers stand out from the pack, a natural style too distinctive not to resonate above the others? Can you engineer it or train yourself to write in one fashion than another, more popular one? Is that why on occasion you read a writer’s work, become fascinated by their use of language then buy their further work only to be bitterly disappointed? It makes it hard to have confidence in your work when you have no idea if it’s vivid or flat and lifeless.

My solution is to keep writing until every person on the planet agrees my writing is crap and without character.

Querying

Horrifying.

That is the word that springs to mind. I started querying my first completed MS and have only received one reply that actually taught me something. One. Agents are the gatekeepers and the thought is terrifying. Three of my queries were read and rejected within less than a day. Less. Than. A. Day. Eeeek! This hints at three things. One, my query was so good they had to read it immediately since it positively glowed in their inbox compared to the other hundreds they had received, but the proposal was not right for them. Two, it was so terrible a query the reader clicked, laughed then showed some friends, and laughed some more then decided it would be cruel to waste my time. Three, the Agent is ruthlessly up to date with their slush-pile.

Fellow authors, do you see the problem? Has this happened to anyone else, the scary fast query response? What does it mean?

Critiques

 “Liar,” I said then narrowed my eyes at the computer screen. This was my reaction to two of three reviews I received from fellow writers on a chapter of my MS. The first review I’d had of the piece was devastating, eviscerating my style, phrasing and pacing. This review I took to heart and could repeat from memory. The second and third reviews did highlight weakness in the work, but I found it hard to trust the strength’s they raved about after being beaten bloody by such a blithe dismal from the first review. When is it okay to trust yourself and others that something you have written is good? Sometimes, critique circles are brilliant for aspiring writers. You find like-minded people who genuinely want to help and will give concise, targeted feedback. Other times it’s not so great and you either get flattered with hollow compliments or plunged into the depths of despair, for someone has taken it upon themselves to tell you cant write, shouldn’t write and would do better to never set your fingers on a keyboard again. Luckily, I have only ever had once such review, and my reviews since have been much more constructive. Not always praising, but constructive. Even when positive, criticism hurts. But it makes you a better writer. Agree?